Starting a Consulting Practice, continued

Raising the Bar on Consulting in the Social Benefit Sector: Ethics, Principles, Lessons Learned is a series of blog posts that explores the work of consultants to nonprofit/social sector organizations who find the hard-hitting truths that will help these organizations become more effective. The blog features the work of Shiree Teng, strategy and developmental evaluation consultant. The interviewer and host, Naaima Khan also consults in the areas of evaluation capacity building/design and strategic planning. Whether you’re starting out, well along your path or at the edge, you’re welcome to offer your insights and reflections on our Lessons Learned as Consultants community!

Naaima: Welcome, Shiree. Thank you again for taking the time to share your wisdom and experience. I'd like to start from where we left off last time when we discussed starting a consulting practice. We covered a lot of topics and talked a bit about using your network as a source of getting business when you are starting.

Now, let's say for argument's sake, that your closest friends from your network leave you high and dry. You're tapping into your network of 30 friends, you know these people well, you've worked on your elevator pitch and you share it with them. Then - crickets - everybody seems either busy or non- respondent. Can you share what can be done in this scenario?

Shiree: I would say if you send out something to 30 of your closest people and nobody responds, then you shouldn't be a consultant. It’s tough to hear that, but it's a sign for you. Data is data. Silence is data, non-response is data. People ignoring me is data.

You gotta take all that data in - that 30 people don't respond. This is not the path for you because none of them will hire you. And that's painful to take in. So that data exists for a reason. You gotta dig in your heart and ask, ‘Why is that?’ So that's the first thing I would say. Second, it’s one thing to see people busy. You know, some of the emails might bounce back; people have moved on. Or maybe a couple of people respond. It's not absolute zero silence. Then I would go to LinkedIn and work that platform. I would browse through your connections and request at least five 25-minute calls.

And let’s just say maybe you reach out to those five out of your original network of 30 and say, ‘This is what I'm about, this is what I'm into. What do you think? Are there people that have asked you about needing consultants recently? Might you or your organization know who else I should be talking to?’

But ask for no more than 25, or even 20 minutes, because people's time is precious. Especially other consultants because every hour is a billable hour or time they could be taking off, right? So you're asking for something quite precious. If you do get that time with them, honor it. Don't be long winded, be very clear. Prepare for the meeting and use their time wisely. If none of that works, I would say, look for consulting firms - perhaps boutique consulting firms - see if they're hiring, and join them.

When I started, I was an associate consultant to three networks and I loved it because when I work at home, I'm by myself. But with these networks, I belong to these communities of colleagues. And they would give me spill-over business - stuff that they can't take on or stuff that they wanted me to take on for their team for whatever reason. They would bring me in as a contractor. And it's great because you don't have to hustle on your own for every gig. Some of them come from these networks and you meet people.

And you learn, I learned a lot from watching how other people do it. At the beginning of my consulting practice, I did that for about 10 years. So it's not just something that you do for a year and then you move on. I did that for 10 years. Because I love these colleagues and sometimes the gigs are bigger than what I could bid for on my own. Through these types of projects, I could see a bigger, global view of what's happening in our sector. And I get to have more impact by being on someone's team rather than solo. As a solo practitioner, you will only get certain types of gigs - those that are made and geared for solo practitioners. And then other clients are expecting teams because they are offering bigger jobs.

Naaima: Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes you just have to step out on a limb and introduce yourself. Like I did when I met you! I was in the midst of leaving a job for a variety of reasons related to a lack of acting on the principle of equity. You were consulting at the time with my previous employer on race equity. And I was just like, “I have to tell this woman my thoughts.” And so I just spilled all the beans to you. And I think I quite succinctly pointed out the core challenges that my employer was facing in addressing racial equity. I'm so glad that we made that connection because that prompted, you know, further conversation and now this wonderful relationship that I'm so grateful for.

So I think it's definitely also about taking steps to put yourself out there that people who are starting out may be uncomfortable with in the beginning. When you’re not running your own business, you're not used to putting yourself out there like that. In fact, I don't even know what moved me to reach out to you like I did, when I look back on it. But I'm so glad I did.

Lastly, Shiree, I want to talk about this concept that you alluded to briefly in our last conversation but we didn't explore. This idea of being kind of stuck in this capitalist system and framework in an age where people are radically reconsidering and reexamining the basic tenets of capitalism. So can we talk a little bit more about that?

How do we, as consultants, set up our practice and our philosophical approach so that we're not reinforcing the same problematic principles that drive cutthroat capitalism?

Shiree: So using your example, Naaima, is each one teach one. Each one, raise one. So just because I've been in practice for a long time and my practice is flourishing for which I'm very grateful. And I feel like it puts me in a position where I have more responsibility for sharing everything that I've learned and also bringing on younger, more queer, more excluded marginalized people who want to be consultants. I want to bring them close to me. I want them to work on projects with me. Like what we've done. I feel like that's part of my ability, my responsibility to contribute and give back. We all want to give back. But giving back can look very different. Right? So every year I make it a point to donate probably 20% of my gross income to my clients. I will buy tables at their galas. I will be a monthly sustainer to their organizations. I don't have a sliding fee scale. I don't believe in that.

And I am actually charging on the very high end of consulting now, right after all these years. So giving back looks like working and bringing younger people who are new to consulting into my orbit and introducing them to my network of clients and other consultants. Because, one day, I won't be here and you will. So why am I hoarding my contacts, my clients, my work, everything I've learned, you know, walls I've hit? I don't need to hoard all that. I need to share it. So that's what I'm doing now. More consciously and more intentionally. I'm working in teams except for one client, everything else is in teams. And I'm very clear that the people I want on my teams are the future of our country that have been excluded from reaching their dreams of freedom.

Naaima: From a third party perspective, some of the principles that I've seen you act on that are, in my opinion, anti-cutthroat capitalism include working from a mindset of abundance. I feel like you've always come from this place of believing that there's enough work to go around. There’s no keeping tabs on what work was done last time and what can we get out of this adding this particular individual on a project. And I've really admired that about your approach - you bring on people that you trust with your gut that there's some value there.

That really helps you take that approach of giving back in this way of, of raising or helping take the next generation under your wing. Another thing that comes to mind is this concept of taking time to go more slowly. For example, you're not about having a packed agenda and plowing through it and meeting these hard deliverables rapidly. You move intentionally and you're very emergent in your own practice. For you, getting the outcome is about driving toward the deliverable and the end product while getting there in a way that has everybody involved and included. I appreciate your approach.

Shiree: Thank you for lifting that up. I think abundance and generosity go hand in hand. If we are generous, generosity will come to us. People feel it. People feel your spirit. You don't have to say it. What you said about time is about trust, right? That I can take a slower pace because I know our relationship is gonna be needed so that we can go faster later.

So it's a balance. Just like the rest of our lives… bringing balance between the light and shadow parts of ourselves, seeing that in each other, and our clients, and loving ourselves and them through all of it. You can't just do an hour of relationship building. People will say, ‘We're paying you for what?’ But without investing time in relationship building, whatever's gonna come later is just gonna take longer. So it's an investment that you need to make in some fashion.

And you, you mentioned trust, right? I didn't know you when you reached out to me other than, you know, the few meetings we'd had with 39 other people on zoom. So sometimes you just gotta trust your gut. And I haven't always been right. Sometimes it has hit me on the head and I say, ‘Ooh, what'd I do that for?’ But more often than not the majority of the time when I trust myself, it all works out because I can always change my mind. If it didn't work between us, Naaima, we would have just stopped. I would've just stopped. So just because you trust, doesn't make you a fool. But I feel like we have to lean into generosity, our gut and our intuition for abundance to come.

Naaima: So wise, Shiree. This is a great conversation and I can feel us getting deeper. We’ll have to wait until our next post to continue discussing some of the more philosophical aspects of anticapitalist consulting. Until next time!

Starting a Consulting Practice

Raising the Bar on Consulting in the Social Benefit Sector: Ethics, Principles, Lessons Learned is a series of blog posts that explores the work of consultants to social sector organizations who find the hard-hitting truths that will help these organizations become more powerful. The blog features the work of Shiree Teng, strategy and developmental evaluation consultant for the past 20 years. The interviewer and host, Naaima Khan also consults in the areas of evaluation capacity building/design and strategic planning. Whether you’re starting out, well along your path or at the edge, you’re welcome to offer your insights and reflections on our Lessons Learned as Consultants community!

Naaima: Welcome, Shiree. Thank you for taking the time to chat and share your wisdom and experience today. I'd like to start with a very basic question. What is the practice of consulting? Or what does consulting mean for you?

Shiree: Well, the consulting that I do is specific to helping organizations wrestle with their big ideas, big pain points or something that they feel like they need some external support for. I’ve spent 20 years honing my practice and I would say that consulting is really a critical friend, a tough lover, sometimes an extra pair of hands. Sometimes it is clients looking for radical honesty that people within their system and networks may not be so free as to be able to convey.

Naaima: If you’re trying to start out on the path to build your own consulting business, what are some of the things you need to consider?

Shiree: First of all, I would say, be clear on why you want to be a consultant. Be really honest about the why. You don't have to tell anybody else, but you have to tell yourself. Other than the autonomy of having yourself as the boss, why do you want to be a consultant? If you’re in between jobs, printing up 200 cards or setting up a website as an “in-between” jobs endeavor may not be such a great thing. Make a commitment. Work hard at being a consultant. Our sector needs that.

Second, get to know what you're really good at and what you love to do. There are always these areas of work - sweet spots - that we naturally, through our experience through our lives, gravitate toward. Name those sweet spots for yourself. What are they? What do you like doing? What are the things that you would want to roll out of bed every day and do that would make you smile to yourself? What are those things that you're really good at, and you want to bring into the world?

Third is, figure out how much money you need. Right? We live in a capitalist society. Money is real. Whether we hate the game or not - we’re playing the game. So until capitalism is no more, as a consultant, you have to practice. You are a business. So be really clear about the business that you are building. How much money do you need to make? I've always needed to work.

A friend, a long time ago, told me something really useful when it comes to money. They told me to name a number that you need to make, write it down, look at your calendar through the year, count how many days you actually wanna work without the weekends, vacations or whatever time off. Then divide those two numbers (the amount of money you want to make by the number of days you are gonna work. That’s how you come up with a day rate. So get that part of your business ready. Do not apologize for your rate. Know that you will bring value, well actually commit to that.

And number four, I would say, tell 30 people that you like in your network that you are starting a consulting practice and what is it that you’re going to do. in less than a hundred words, send it to all of them. The work comes through your network. If this is your year one, your friends are going to keep you employed, after that you need to continue building client relationships yourself.

Naaima: Wow. There's so much there I want to follow up with. I'll just choose one angle and start there. Would you say it's necessary to create a business plan? I know that, for me, this is something that I spent a lot of time considering because of all the advice out there that tells you to do so. What would you say based on your experience?

Shiree: No. If your learning modality is to write it down, because you need to read it later, write it down. But if your learning modality is talking it out, I would say, talk it out with somebody who’s going to mirror back to you and ask you tough questions to clarify your commitments. If your learning mode is reading, then read some other people's business plans. Whatever you do, you have to be intentional. You have to be clear. You don't have to write it down. But writing it down has advantages, you know. Three months later, you can go back and say, ‘oh, what was I dreaming about three months ago?’ And, ‘how well is my life actually like showing up that way?’

So it can be a kind of a diary, right? To track your own markers along the way. So there's really good things about writing things down. And you certainly don't need to write it down just to start it, if you have considered all the pros and cons and the ways to go. I would say business plans are made for a typical business that sells things.

Naaima: I very much resonate with that approach. After researching and thinking through the different parts of a business plan - I saw that one section is a market analysis where you consider the things that your business might offer and how they compare relative to other offerings in the market.

Shiree: So our market analysis is actually who we know and who they know and who they know who have worked with consultants. They're the best people to share their insights and wisdom with us. If they worked with consultants, they can tell you immediately the five top consultants in their network - “top” meaning the most popular or ones that they respect and will recommend to their networks. They can also tell us what they liked about working with these consultants, what they didn't like. They can tell us what people are charging and they can tell us whether they expect to hire consultants in the next 9 months and for what. So that's our market.

Naaima: Absolutely. And do you feel that it's important for people to work hard at first identifying their niche? A lot of business books really emphasize this idea of knowing your niche. That’s how you’re supposed to differentiate yourself - by speaking to this one target market, if you will. And for a long time when I started out, I really struggled with this idea because I had a few different areas I wanted to work in. What are your thoughts on identifying a niche?

Shiree: I would say our niche again is not like the typical selling things market, right? I would say our niche is the people we know, the work we have done and the work that we're committed to doing, moving into the future. So racial justice is an emergent niche right now (DEI). A lot of people want to get their DEI work together. So is that my niche? No, but am I doing that work? Yes. And why? Because I've spent my life bringing about equity and justice which requires diversity and inclusion. So I know it like the back of my hand because of who I am and my life, it's not my niche. I can still do it.

Now, when I started, I did everything. I didn't have a niche. I couldn't afford to have a niche. so I did facilitation, conflict mediation, learning community facilitation, which is different from a single organization. I did board development. Just lots of things that if I look back now, I would say, ‘Oh my Gosh, I was all over the place.’ You can say that or you can say, ‘Wow, I was pretty good at a lot of different things and I didn't necessarily want to sink my teeth deeply into anything.’ I'm a generalist just like in my personal life. I was organizing in a lot of communities among a lot of issues from the time I was 17 years old. So I've stayed a generalist.

Ten years ago I found my practice morphing more toward evaluation after my beloved Akaya Windwood asked me to evaluate Rockwood Leadership Institute. So over the last ten years, that's where I swim now - in evaluation and strategy. Now, if somebody that is important to me, running an organization that I may have worked with a long time ago, asked me, if I could facilitate a board retreat? Most likely not because I've gone on this other path - but I might. So I think staying more emergent to our own heart and our own intellect is important. Once you start doing something doesn't mean you need to just stay there and cement it in some brick and mortar. No, you can change as much as your clients change. Our client organizations, they morph and they change. So I think what's important is that we stay very in tune with what's happening inside us and to be free to stay emergent. We understand what people are struggling with.

We understand what people are talking about. We read about what's happening, like the latest copy of the Nonprofit Quarterly. It's all about being pro Black. And I have worked with a client for the last year who was moving toward, wanting to be in that pro Black identity themselves. And then this magazine comes out. And I realized, ‘Wow, okay, this is the future...’ So be very in tune with the trends in our sector, rather than be obsessed with niche. And, invest in your own development by attending conferences, webinars, read read read, and be in the know in the many interests that you might have.

Stay emergent, there are a lot of things I didn't know when I was starting out. And did somebody invest in me to go take classes, to read a hundred books? No, I did that. So as consultants we need to continuously plow resources into our own development. Otherwise we'll be dinosaurs. We won't be the ones that are bringing the needed insights and tough love to our sector.

If we don't have anything to offer, why would people hire us? So I spent hours - I would say, in a month, probably 20 hours on average reading on my own, listening to podcasts, attending webinars and trainings. So we have to constantly do that. And that's part of the business plan. That's a part of the financial income and expenses is the reality that we have to invest in ourselves because nobody else is gonna do that. Once you become a for-profit business, you are expected to do that for yourself.

Naaima: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. As always, there's a lot more that can be discussed. But I’m so thrilled that you’ve shared this thinking with us so far and can’t wait to dive into more specifics about consulting as a practice in our next post.

Patriarchy

When colonizers took native land and murdered our ancestors, they imposed ways of being and thinking into every aspect of our lives. These practices have become the “norm.” The ways and stories and language recipes medicines of our ancestors were erased, deemed “uncivilized” and needed to be cleared away. Only they didn’t know we were seeds.

Through the hundreds of years that followed, Men and boys became prized in every aspect of life over women and girls. Overwhelmingly across the country and over time, men are presidents, CEOs, senators, mayors and sheriffs. Almost every major institutions of power have been and are headed by men. Where do we see images of women and girls? On billboards selling cars and beers, scantily dressed with ample cleavage and mini skirts. Every three minutes in this country a woman is raped by force. In wars, rape is a rampant weapon used to occupy and overcome.

We in the social benefit sector, fighting for racial justice and liberation of our communities are not immune to these forms of oppression of women and girls. Unwelcome touches, kisses and sexual insinuations are unfortunately too common. Women-identified staff’s ideas are often not taken seriously or given credit until a man-identified staff speaks same.

We have been consciously and unconsciously tolerating sexual harm for far too long.

Part 3 | Feeling so much...

[see first three posts for introduction and Parts 1 & 2]

my heart hurts.

Hard to concentrate when my world has blown apart. Now really internalizing what it feels like when someone I love is also capable of causing grave harm, in the distant as well as the recent past. How do I reconcile the extremes? Brother had a pure heart. Brother was terrifically strategic. Brainiac, if I may. Uplifting as he spoke of change, pain, transformative love as THE source of relentless power.

Brother told me I was kin, even if not skin. And some skin are not kin. That hella resonated as traumatized people who cause immense harm come in all skin shades. Demographic is not destiny. I learned that. Over and again I’ve seen those who look just like me vote speak see bet smell against my very interests.

Brother’s words inspired me. Still. Now. The message does not erase. Love is not fleeting. Once you’re loved, you’re in. You belong. I belong. Love is catalytic. Love breaks you open. Love heals. Love is everlasting.

What I realized is this: to be able to forgive, extend a do-over, build

from the beginning is to look boldly at the worst things I’ve ever done.

To look.
Not look away.
Stay feeling.
Stay caring.
Don’t look away.
Look at the hurt.
The indescribable.
The real.
State of our world.

Look inside.
Hear each lie.
Smack on like slapping butter and jelly on my biscuits.
See each trespass.
Reflect on why.
Be self critical.
Only then can I be of critique. But still not judging or as a juror…

Heart be still.
Tomorrow is not promised yet chances are dawn will bring light.

I’m reminded, kindly with a smile by one of my generation’s greatest moral and legal advocate, Bryan Stevenson that hope is our superpower.

I am staying hopeful.

I’m holding onto hope like Harriet held onto her taste of freedom, her skin and kin and her pistol. I’m wearing that cape like there’s no tomorrow.

Sitting with and peeling back the layers of complexity. Human complexities.

Grey.
Daze.
Zone.

This is no ordinary love.
They say love like ours won’t last.
Keep crying for
You…
I keep trying for you

Love...Now What: Part 2 | June 3, 2021

Love is a verb…

Love is a verb. I’m reminded by Kate’s works of art in our brown paper. Love breaks you open beyond those colonizing walls that keep us separate and divided.

How do you love a child molester? His own child at that? That is the penultimate on the sexual assault gradient: harassment, forced touch and kiss, molestation, unwanted touch and / or kiss, assault, rape, then with your own kin - children. That’s probably the final “stop.”

Yet not let us / me be the judge and jury. I’m hurt. Angry. Betrayed. Mad. Pissed off.

And.

Knowing Bro is a hurt person. Someone he once trusted as family violated him. Betrayed his trust. Not as rationale but context.

Holding him accountable, is that him rotting away in prison? Or banished to do his deep healing work for five ten twenty years with concrete behavioral change. Accountable to an elders / community council? Will his daughter agree that is justice delivered?

What are the alternatives if we believe Brother’s life is redeemable? Not a throwaway. Not defined by the worst thing he’s ever done, that he molested and raped his own daughter when she was a small child… how do we hold love in face of that? 

No answers.

Blank. Empty.

And knowing how many women in the movement and in our racial justice organizations have put up with sexual harassment, assault, unwanted everything for goddess knows how long… our silence is suffocating us. I can’t breathe. Not no more. 

Our fear overwhelms us. Overwhelms me. Like drowning in the ocean when riptides come for you and there’s no way out.

Our self-blame swallowed like paper towels stuffed down our throats. The unwanted touching, the insinuations, flirting that feels like flattery but is really pressure to have sex. All so dark, disturbing, disgusting.

Sexual battery of all kinds is insidious. Pervasive. Tolerated long enough. I held my #MeToo story for 25 years. 25 long sick years. And I’ve only spoke out on one predator - Oscar Rios - only. All the others - union presidents, nameless laborers on nameless street corners, well respected “movement elders” who shall remain protected are all sitting in plain sight. Without being held accountable to their implicit and explicit trespasses. In the end, the sour and bitter are still left on my tongue like yesterday’s curry.

What will we do about that? Will I call out those I respect to this day? Will I call them in to look at the harm they’ve caused and demand that they be held to account, for a do-over, for a chance at forgiveness? Do I dare to puncture the pretty veneer that all’s well in the fight for justice? Who will sound the alarm that our sisters and daughters, nieces and nephews are not well? Who dares to wear this target on their backs for speaking truth to misogyny’s overreach? Who dares to bear the brunt of the blowback?

How do we hold onto the light amidst all this darkness?

I need and want answers. I’m thirsty for change. Where silence is no longer acceptable. Where sexual harm is named, confronted. Where women are finally liberated from this male disease called patriarchy. When we cultivate young people to enter into this movement, we have a responsibility and duty to expose where harm has been done and for restorative love to gain normalcy. Where our pain is lifted. 

I hunger for the day when we stop asking women why were you there? What were you doing with him in the first place? Why were you wearing that skimpy little tell-all top? Were you flirting with him? How many drinks did you have? What do we need to do to finally banish those like last week’s moldy muffins?

Love...Now What: Part 1 | May 28, 2021

Bro, what happened to you?

What happened, Bro that was so godawful that made you into the half you are?

What happened to you? That allowed the heinous acts of harm onto others? The abuse of power? The drunken outrageous? Patriarchy, Misogyny, and violence against women and girls?

What happened to you, Bro? I know you weren’t born that way.

In your darkness you have perpetrated great harm. In those times when you were at your most brilliant, you’d agree you have a very dark side. Hidden. Forbidden. Why? What happened to you, Bro?

What does justice look like for you? How do you repair? Yourself and those you’ve harmed? What about those who harmed you?

What was, was not sustainable. The hurt and acting out of hurt.

It had to implode. So that there could be rebirth. Our work is not finished. And the community’s uprising for justice cannot be on the shoulders of one single individual. No, Brother, no; the people are the change agents. What happened to you, Bro? That allowed you to believe you could do it by yourself? You betrayed our trust in you. My trust in you.

What do you think a do-over looks like?

And more importantly to begin your healing journey, you’ve gotta answer the question, what happened to you? Who’s caused you great harm? Berated you? Violated you? Manipulated you? Betrayed your trust?

I hold you accountable for violating my trust. Believing you were in integrity with your words. I didn’t know the deep, dark sides of you.

I too, was molested by a “movement warrior” many years ago so I know the type.

What do I say to you when and if I ever see you again? I’ll demand to hear your story. What happened to you, my beloved Brother?

Your life is still sacred. Your struggle for justice is a righteous and courageous one. Your life need not be a throwaway. You deserve to redress the harm you’ve caused and to grow.

I’m growing my heart♥️ to love you. In the stretch my heart♥️ hurts. For me. For you. For all the siblings you’ve harmed. Who made you feel so insecure?

So to finish, I’m just gonna send these questions your way. I’m not sure how to even get this to you but for now, spitting it out feels enough.

I’ll meditate on loving you unconditionally. Wish me luck.

our collective journey for healing, for love

Writing is one of my outlets. I share this with you, my beloveds, as well as the broader restorative justice community. I hold you in our collective journey for healing, for love.

I refuse to give up on the notion of love being the most universal and powerful source of energy. I reject the carceral system as the solution. We need to do better. Here, I start with me. And, I will keep writing as the days progress.

I look forward to being in community with those who also refuse to stay silent about our pain... I can't breathe. Not one minute more.

Please share with those who are reaching out or in networks where we are suffering on our own. Let's further our collective action for transformation.